纯粹为“搞笑机密”的合租规定

合租规定

第一条：不得召妓。

第二条：不得与豪猪发生关系。

第三条：每次床上运动（男男/男女）不得超过4个小时。

第四条：晚上睡眠期间不得抓墙。

第五条：身体任何部位拔落的体毛不得随地丢弃。

第六条：必需承认圆周率为4。

第七条：不得啃噬任意第三方已经丢弃的骨头。

第八条：不得销售其子女。

第九条：不得将吃了一半的冰激淋卷放在别人的口袋里。

第十条：如使用非杜雷斯套需事先进行申请。

第十一条：此条用来确定第十条确实得到了有效的贯彻。

第十二条：不得仅为娱乐而将椰子（未吃/已吃）砸向他人头骨。

第十三条：如晚上有人打鼾，只能敲掉其上牙牙齿。

第十四条：夏天睡觉不得穿防弹背心。

第十五条：任何性行为默认为合法。

第十六条：洗澡时不得唱歌。

第十七条：每天至少喝3公升牛奶。

第十八条：任何人不得独自看黄色录影带。

第十九条：不得在家中大便，以保持卫生。

第二十条：任何人不得在熄灯后，身着白色睡衣，散落头发，在地上蹭着爬。

第二十一条：此法规与中华人民共和国宪法有同样的法律效力，如有冲突，以此法规为准。

第二十二条：任何人对上述条款不满，可以提出决斗，地点定为物美二层鞋专柜。
 

CO-LIVING REGULATIONS

Article One: Nobody shall call showgirls.

Article Two: Nobody shall have sex with any hero pig (male or female).

Article Three: Each in-bed activity (male vs. male/male vs. female) shall be controlled within four hours.

Article Four: Nobody shall scrap the wall while sleeping.

Article Five: Any hair pulled out from the body shall not be discharged at random.

Article Six: Anyone shall admit that the value of Л is four.

Article Seven: Anyone shall not eat the bone deserted by third party.

Article Eight: Anyone shall not sell his/her offspring.

Article Nine: Anyone shall not put a half-fucked ice cream in the pocket of another person.

Article Ten: Anyone shall apply prior to the usage of non-Durex Condoms.

Article Eleven: This is to make sure that Article Ten is effectively implemented.

Article Twelve: Anyone shall not throw the cokernut (uneaten/eaten) towards any other’s skull just for fun.

Article Thirteen: If anyone snores at night, others have the limited right to knock his upper-teeth out.

Article Fourteen: No one shall wear bulletproof vest during sleep in summer.

Article Fifteen: Any sexuality is legal.

Article Sixteen: Nobody shall sing while bathing.

Article Seventeen: Anyone shall drink milk of three liters per day.

Article Eighteen: Anyone shall not enjoy X-rated videotape alone.

Article Nineteen: To maintain sanitation, anyone shall not shit at home.

Article Twenty: Anyone shall not creep on the floor at night, with white pajama and hair fucked-up.

Article Twenty-one: This regulation is in accordance with the Constitution of P.R.C. and enjoys the same legal power. If any conflict occurs, this regulation shall prevail.

Article Twenty-two: Whoso disagrees with the above regulations can apply for a due which is prescribed to be held near the shoe-shelf at the second floor of Wumei Supermarket.